Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru My brother Jack was born on the same day that Fidel Castro became Prime Minister of Cuba, who also shares the same birthday as John McEnroe, who once screamed obscenities at an impressionable young ball boy for not bringing him his towel fast enough…an act that soured that boy on the world […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Esquire Magazine estimated that 1 in 8 Americans was tattooed, 14% of which were Republicans. Now, I love a good tattoo…just not on me. I’m afraid of needles and, probably more accurately, the way my sagging flesh might someday distort the artwork. Truth is, the tattoo is the ultimate advertising, a walking […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Besides humans, the only animal that can stand on its head is the elephant. And what does this have to do with your next marketing promotion? Absolutely nothing, except that it makes me wonder just how many animals did they have to go through to find one who could do the trick? […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru My grandfather has always been a history buff, so it’s not surprising he’s always thanking the Romans, not for introducing democratic principles, but for inventing the whole idea of kissing on the lips. You see, in ancient times, a husband returning from work would kiss his wife to see if she’d been […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Growing up I had a hopeless crush on Miss Pittsburgh, 1953, also known as Shirley Jones of the Partridge Family. I followed her life like a rabid dog, collecting her autograph photographs, piano playing cards and “I Think I Love You” key chains. Of course, my prized possession was the Partridge Family […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru There’s a lot of false advertising in this world. French Fries originated in Belgium not France, Great Danes come from Germany not Denmark and a ten gallon hat holds only six pints of water. And for that matter, Madonna was born in Michigan not Liverpool. And because of these everyday deceptions, it’s […]
Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru My Uncle Lou is a numerologist who lives and breathes numbers and seeing as how he’s doing fourteen months in a minimum-security prison for a few minor accounting errors, he has a lot of free time to spend on his hobby. I bet you didn’t know an average drop of Heinz tomato […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru If you’re anything like me, you probably can’t help but feel empowered when you lift a paper clip from the magnetic pull of its holder, almost as much as you feel oddly safe when you gingerly return the clip back to its home. Now, I know that may sound Norman Bates to […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Okay, I’m a flip-flopper. I know it’s the opposite of what I said last week, but if there is one rule in marketing, it’s that there are no rules. And I say this not just because my Uncle Marty was Richard Nixon’s button man in his ‘68 campaign, but because in our […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Let me just say, I’m all for bold, colorful, in your face, flashiness and I have the leopard skin disco suit to prove it. I’m also all for the hip, sleek and high tech gadgets that make me feel like James Bond…and I have the neighborhood’s only Bluetooth toilet paper dispenser to […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru Go ahead, lie down on the couch, take a deep breath and say the following words slowly….”I am a Procrastinator. I wait until the last minute for everything.” I hope you feel better. Acceptance is always the first step to recovery. But, remember, you are not alone. According to a 1969 survey […]
Virgil Winston:Marketing Guru As the great Yogi Berra of the Yankees used to say, “a nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore,” which I suppose was his own convoluted way of saying we need a little more bang for the buck in this world, or what my father liked to call, ROI-P…“return on the imprinted pencil.” […]
